5 Weeks Left...

I only have 5 weeks of school left. I really can't believe it. I feel like this year has lasted forever, but i also feel like it has flown by without me realizing it. I feel like i haven't done enough productive wise, but then again i feel like i have accomplished sooo much. I am just one big contradiction i guess. It seemed like high school passed by so much slower than college is, i don't like getting old. I can't imagine having a "real job" and making a salary. I mean granted i am only going to be a junior, but yet i feel like i should be deciding on the rest of my life. However, i have left that up to God to show me where he wants to place me to do His work. It is difficult however imagining graduating from Clemson and still having no idea where i am called to go. I guess i would move back home-scary thought!- no. i will go to Seminary or move in with a friend who is going to Grad School and bum off of them for a while. I mean that sounds pretty good. Or maybe i will just move to a foreign country, buy a bunch of cows, and be considered rich. I mean that would be pretty fantastic. Anyway, back to matters at hand. Truthfully, i have no insight on anything tonight. I am just bored and procrastinating because i feel that i have done enough work for today. I really wish we had some eggs so i could make brownies. I am really in the mood for brownie batter right now. But, the one egg that is in our fridge was "best if used by march 9th" i just don't feel like throwing it away. Poor little lonely egg. Last Saturday Sara and I went to Happy Tails (the local Blue Ridge pet store-don't hate) cause the sign said that they had ducks, chicks, and bunnies for easter. They were out of chicks and ducks- which was why i was going. It was sad. I think i would have bought a duck. Then my Mom would have killed me, but it would have been cute. I could have named him Daffy. Actually i would have probably named him something more clever like MC Hammer or something. I am all about giving animals famous people names. If i ever get a dog his name is going to be Lynard Skynard. No, really. It will be. I think it if i ever wrote a book it would be similar to Catcher in the Rye. Without all of the cursing of course. That boy just dropped the f bomb and g.d. an awful lot and that really bothered me. I liked it though cause it was just this random book about this random kid doing a bunch of random stuff. It gave me a laugh reading that book. Anyway, i really need to go to the store. I have no groceries in my apt. and the rest of my roommates went without me, without even telling me how that were going. That wasn't very nice, but i like going by myself anyway that way i can take as long as i want. And all the food up in this joint has labels all over it. Apparently that is the new theme within out apt, labeling food. I mean what the dump? really? is that necessary? i don't want your stupid cinnamon graham crackers so you don't need to label them as yours cause i am not gonna jack one. Whatever. It really doesn't bother me, i just wonder why. I think i wonder why on a lot of things. People are really strange. I mean i know we all have our quirks, but some people are really strange. No one specific, just people. I love the song Wagon Wheel. Carlye has gotten me addicted to it. I have been listening to it on repeat for the past like twenty minutes. It is a good background song. I am not sure i really even know what it is about. Maybe one time soon i will take the time to listen to it and actually pay attention to the words. Ok i think i have spent enough time rambling about random mess that those of you who are actually taking the time to read this don't care a lick about.

P.S. i really miss my NYLF buddies Sloane and Allison. I just realized how much i love them today when I talked to Sloane for the first time in a couple months. i love genuine awesome people. If you just read this whole thing then it's pretty guarenteed i love you a lot.

Love From The Center of Who You Are

I love the book of Romans. Especially Roman's 12. I have been a fan of Romans 12:2 for quite some time, but i recently just read the whole chapter and it is absolutely amazing and can help in virtually any situation. The world has forgotten the true meaning of love. I firmly believe that is true. Everyone is so caught up in pleasing themselves they forget to do things for others. There are so many hypocrites everywhere that it is extremely rare to find a genuinely good person that isn't out to be your friend simply to get something for themselves. People forget that it is by God's grace that we are even here at all. It is by God's grace that we are saved from our sins and will live eternally in the best place imagineable (Heaven). Romans 12 says this, "Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle." -The Message
We forget that we should always be playing second fiddle to God. He is the master musician in our lives. It is so hard for us not to take complete control of our lives and run with what we think is right and what WE think is pleasing to God. We can only trust and pray to God for His mercy and ask Him to lead us toward what He has planned for our lives. At Newspring this morning Perry was talking about settling. We all do it, we get so comfortable in a routine that we just get into a pattern of what we like and we never change, we never stop to think about if what we are doing is what God really wants for us. I have felt lately that I have gotten into a routine, so I changed my routine and got out of my comfort zone and met some new people. I have been severely punished by my friends for doing this. It has been hard. I have not been loved by some of the people I considered closest to me lately. Romans says this about those people who are evil and judge you for changing your habits, "Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good...Don't hit back; discover the beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says god. "I'll take care of it." -The Message
I know i tend to get so bogged down with worrying if people don't like me or are mad at how i handle situations that it just eats at my soul. We need to remember that God always has our back if we are doing something that is pleasing to Him. We always need to remember that everything we do should be pleasing and for the glory of God. We forget that more times than we remember it i think, myself included.
I think maybe one day I will go to Kenya with Carlye. Do some health promoting over there. It has been on my mind a lot lately. Pray for me about that. Also pray that i become more eager in my schoolwork. I have been very uninterested lately and I need to be more focused on doing well.

Never settle. Always Learn. Keep faith strong. Love above all else. Remember God is so good!